This time of year, none of us in Southwest Florida should care at all about socks. I mean, truly, it’s 742 degrees outside with 900 percent humidity. No one is wearing socks. That is, except for me, your faithful Home-Tech Blogger, who has been down for the count with major knee surgery.
As a result of being housebound, shuffling around on crutches, and unable to reach past my cumbersome leg brace to put on shoes (flip-flops and crutches don’t mix, trust me on that), I was forced to search through my meager sock collection for temporary footwear – and when I say meager, I mean practically nonexistent. (I’ve lived in Florida since childhood and socks just haven’t been a priority).
Nevertheless, as I rummaged through my sock drawer, I was able to find a total of 17 socks. Not 17 PAIRS of socks, mind you — just 17 socks. Among them, there were just four pair. Now, I’m no math whiz, but that leaves 11 lonely, single, unmatched, very sad socks.
At first, I thought pain medication was playing a factor in my inability to match socks, but no matter how I tried to justify it, a pink argyle sock and a turquoise footie just do not go together — whether you’re on pharmaceuticals or not. And then it dawned on me one evening while my husband and I were bingeing on “House of Cards”.
The Case of the Hungry Dryer
“The dryer ate them!” I said suddenly.
“The dryer ate what, honey?” asked my husband/nurse with the patience of a thousand saints.
“My socks! The dryer must have eaten my socks.”
My husband sighed, “Sweetie, the dryer doesn’t eat things. The dryer doesn’t have a mouth – or teeth.”
I argued (and I think this was the pain medication talking),”Yes, it does. The dryer is one giant mouth and it eat socks.”
My husband rolled his eyes and then asked the proverbial question we’ve all been asking ourselves since we learned to unload a dryer and fold laundry, “Then honey, if the dryer eats socks, where do they go?”
The Sherlock Holmes of Repair at Home-Tech
Maybe because I’m in recovery I have too much time on my hands, but I was bound and determined to get to the bottom of exactly where socks go after the dryer has eaten them. So, I spoke to the all-knowing top repair man, Roger, at Home-Tech in Fort Myers. At first, he feigned ignorance, “Socks? Lost in dryers? That’s crazy – I’ve never heard of that,” he said with an unmistakable glint in his eye.
I told him I had proof – eleven lonely, pathetic socks, without partners to walk through life with. So, he confessed and shared the ancient secret of disappearing socks with me – and I, in turn, am sharing it with you.
Finally, The Truth About Your Dryer
It could be a minor (and common) occurrence – instead of the sock clinging to the side of the dryer tumbler, try feeling around the front of the inside – your stray may be hanging out there. Also, if you feel around the inside of the front, there’s a round felt and/or rubber seal. Wear and tear, plus age, can break down the seal and socks can get stuck there, just tumbling round, dizzily for years, cycle after cycle – a sort of purgatory for socks. And yes, sometimes they fall through a crack in the seal and end up in the innards (I like to call it the stomach) of the dryer. Thankfully, if your dryer starts digesting socks or other small bits of laundry and needs repairing, a Service Agreement from Home-Tech will cover it – and uncover your missing socks so they can be reunited with their life-partners.
Meanwhile, I can only grieve for my socks that have gone missing in action, as I hope to start a clever new trend of wearing one Christmas sock and one Hello Kitty sock. I could be onto something here, unless of course, this is the pain meds talking again…